Today I would like to pick in again on the introduction of one of my earlier posts about re-visiting places.
In that post I focused on the fact that if you re-visit places somehow you are confronted with an earlier snapshot of your life, but that as a matter of fact life is a constant process of change.
The question I did not put at the moment is what did actually change? Probably the answer that comes straight away to the mind now is ‘me’. But who or what actually is ‘me’? Is ‘me’ really that what we think that it is?
If you think back to the time you were a child for example, you clearly think of that person being yourself, but on the other hand you also think that compared to that time you have changed a lot, you can almost say you are a different person now.
I think this contradiction is created because we mix pure identity and the temporary dresses and features of the identity. During life it is a normal process to cling to temporarily distinctive or indicative aspects, which in many cases are influenced by the environment we are in at that time. The illusion that is created is that people tend to think that the person they are is that what the combination of all these temporarily aspects represent to themselves and to the external world.
It is complete normal that during lifetime certain things like attitudes, preferences, views, job, under circumstances name or religion, etc. change. But those are only dresses, features that together built an illusion of being ‘me’. That what really is ‘me’ is actually hidden deep behind all those identity building elements and has individuality on its own. Only thing it is limited and conditioned through all these temporary features inspired by our worldly environment of that time and is often not recognized. Even not by ourselves.
It is actually this ignorance about what really is ‘me’, and that is at the base of our individual life, that generates all these successive artificial ‘me’’s. The only way to discard this illusion towards ourselves would be to stop considering the sum of all inessential qualities of ourselves that are only indicative as being ‘me’.
This ‘real me’ is certainly not our body, memories, senses, feelings, emotions, or anything else that we consider to be ‘ours’. Those are rather temporary and distorting factors creating the rather egoistic – and in most cases only known – perspective of ‘me’.
Our worldly limited perception sees things defined by the factors space and time, which mainly are also mankind defined definitions. After all relatively seen what is actually time? And what is the importance of time? Does it actually really matter whether I live one, thirty, sixty or even hundred years?
According to me to get a glimpse of what really is ‘me’ it is required to see things beyond the limitations of time and most of all space. Unfortunately in our worldly life form these limitations have been included in our human nature and that’s why we consider a whole range of aspects and features, which are perfectly definable in these concepts of time and space, as ‘me’.
And it is exactly this imaginary ‘me’ that is defined by certain time and space, that gets into conflict with what is actually a new imaginary ‘me’ defined by some other time and space, when you re-visit places after some time. At that specific moment, our desire to have a permanent ‘me’ gets disillusioned by the realisation that what we always thought is ‘me’ actually cannot be ‘me’ and consequently is unreal. A realisation which creates the earlier described feeling of melancholy or even loneliness.